Cross contact
You can eat gluten free food and still get sick. Cross contact is usually why.
What cross contact actually is
Cross contact is gluten getting into food that did not have any. A shared fryer. A knife that just cut a sandwich. Flour dust on the grill. The food was gluten free. The kitchen was not. That is how you order the right thing and still get sick.
It is worth understanding. It is not worth building your life around.
Restaurants
This is the real one. Shared fryers, flour on the grill, croutons picked off a salad, a sauce thickened with flour. Ask two questions: is the fryer shared, and is there flour in the sauce. A kitchen that takes celiac seriously can answer both in a sentence. See eating out for the scripts and finding safe restaurants for how to pick the place.
Other people's cooking
Potlucks, family dinners, parties. People mean well and do not know. Bring a dish you can eat, plate your food first, or eat before you go. Keep it light. See dining at friends' homes. For school, see the school guide.
Packaged food
Some things are made on lines that also run wheat. A certified gluten free label settles it. Most naturally gluten free food is fine. Read the label once and move on. See certified vs naturally gluten free.
Your own kitchen
Wash things. That is the whole protocol. A clean pan is a clean pan and a rinsed colander is a rinsed colander. You do not need a second toaster, color coded cutting boards, or a purge of every wooden spoon in the house. If you share a butter dish with people who eat bread, get your own butter. Done.
How strict do you need to be?
Strict about the real things: the fryer, the flour, the sandwich you did not order. Relaxed about the rest. Your body and your doctor will tell you where your line is. The goal is a life you can live, not a laboratory.
When it happens
It will. It is not a moral failure. Rest, drink water, and move on. See what to do after you get glutened.