When People Don't Believe You

“Is that really necessary?”

“My friend’s cousin is gluten-free and she cheats all the time.”

“I think this whole gluten thing is overblown.”

When someone doubts your celiac disease, whether openly skeptical or subtly dismissive, it hurts. Not just emotionally, but practically. It affects whether they’ll accommodate you, whether you feel safe eating what they prepare, whether you can relax around food in their presence.

Here’s how I’ve learned to handle it.

Why People Don’t Believe

Understanding the skepticism helps:

The Trend Effect

Gluten-free eating became trendy. Millions of people went GF by choice, without celiac disease. Restaurants and food companies marketed to them. To outsiders, it looks like a fad.

When you say “I can’t eat gluten,” some people mentally categorize you with the trend-followers who “can’t” eat gluten this month but were fine last month.

The Invisibility Factor

Celiac symptoms aren’t always visible. You might look perfectly healthy. If they don’t see you getting sick, they doubt the severity.

The “I’d Know” Assumption

“I’ve known you for years. You ate bread at my wedding. How can you suddenly have this?”

People assume celiac would have been obvious earlier. They don’t understand it can develop at any age or that you might have been sick for years without knowing why.

Projection of Control

Some people are uncomfortable with the randomness of chronic illness. They prefer to believe diseases happen to people who did something wrong, or that conditions can be overcome with willpower.

“Just have a little” lets them believe you have more control than you do.

How It Feels

Let’s acknowledge it: being disbelieved hurts.

It’s invalidating. Your lived experience, your diagnosis, your daily struggle, dismissed.

It’s isolating. If they don’t believe you, you can’t trust them with your food.

It’s exhausting. You have to justify your medical condition. Again.

You’re allowed to feel hurt. That’s reasonable.

Response Strategies

Different people need different approaches.

For the Curious Skeptic

Some skepticism comes from genuine ignorance. They’re not hostile, just uninformed.

Educate briefly:

“Celiac disease is an autoimmune condition, my immune system attacks my intestine when I eat gluten. It was diagnosed through blood tests and biopsy. It’s not a sensitivity or a diet choice. Even a small amount causes damage, even if I don’t always show symptoms immediately.”

Provide resources:

“Here’s a good article that explains it if you want to understand better.”

Some people will genuinely learn. Others won’t. But you’ve given them the opportunity.

For the Casual Dismisser

The eye-rollers, the “I’m sure it’s fine” people.

Set boundaries simply:

“I know it might seem excessive, but this is what I need to do for my health. I’m not asking you to understand, just to respect it.”

Don’t over-explain. Don’t get drawn into debate. State your boundary and hold it.

For the Active Underminer

People who pressure you to eat things, sneak gluten into food, or openly mock your condition.

Be firm:

“I have a diagnosed medical condition. When you pressure me to eat gluten, you’re asking me to harm my health. I need you to stop.”

If they persist, this is a relationship problem beyond celiac. They’re not respecting your clearly stated needs. Consider how much access they should have to you and your food.

For Family Members

Family disbelief is particularly painful.

Try one serious conversation:

“I need you to understand that celiac disease is real and serious. I was diagnosed by a doctor. When you dismiss it, it hurts me and makes me feel unsupported. I need you on my team.”

If they come around, great. If they don’t, you may need to protect yourself by not eating food they prepare, regardless of what they say about it.

What Not to Do

Don’t Perform Sickness

You might be tempted to describe your symptoms in graphic detail to prove how real it is. This rarely convinces skeptics and makes you feel worse.

Don’t Constantly Justify

You don’t need to re-prove your diagnosis to every doubter. Say it once, clearly. After that, it’s their choice whether to accept it.

Don’t Eat Something Unsafe to Prove You’re “Not That Picky”

I’ve been tempted. To just eat the thing to avoid the awkwardness. Don’t. Your health isn’t worth their comfort.

Finding Your People

Not everyone will get it. But some people will.

Who tends to understand:

• People with their own chronic conditions
• People who’ve seen you sick
• People who love you and believe you
• Other celiacs
• Healthcare providers (usually)

Invest energy in these relationships. Let go of convincing the chronic skeptics.

When It’s a Doctor

If your doctor doesn’t believe you or dismisses your symptoms, that’s different. Find a new doctor. You deserve healthcare providers who take your condition seriously.

The Internal Battle

Sometimes the hardest skeptic is yourself.

“Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe it is just in my head.”

This is the voice of everyone who’s ever doubted you, internalized.

Remember:

• You have a diagnosis
• Your symptoms are real
• The science is clear
• You’re not making this up

When you doubt yourself, return to facts.

A Prayer for When You’re Doubted

Lord, it’s hard to be disbelieved.

You know the truth about my body. You know what I carry. You know this is real.

Help me hold onto that truth when others doubt. Help me not need their belief to know my own experience.

Give me words that might reach them. Give me peace if the words don’t work.

And remind me that You believe me. That’s enough.

Amen.

The Long View

Over time, the skeptics tend to sort themselves out. Some come around. Some stay skeptical. Some exit your life.

You can’t control whether people believe you. You can only control how much power you give their disbelief.

Believe yourself. Take care of yourself. Find people who support you.

Their skepticism is their problem. Don’t make it yours.