When Your Parish Won't Accommodate

You asked about low-gluten hosts. They shrugged. You explained your needs. They forgot. You tried again. Nothing changed.

When your parish won’t accommodate your celiac needs, it hurts. Here’s how to handle it.

Why It Happens

Parishes fail to accommodate for various reasons:

Ignorance

• They don’t know low-gluten hosts exist
• They don’t understand celiac disease
• They’ve never had someone ask before

Forgetfulness

• They meant to help but forgot
• No system in place to remember
• Too many other priorities

Resistance

• “We’ve never done that before”
• Concerns about theological correctness
• Unwillingness to change procedures

Resource Constraints

• Small parish with limited capacity
• Cost concerns
• No one assigned to handle it

Understanding the cause helps you respond appropriately.

First Steps: Good Faith Effort

Before assuming the worst, try these:

Talk to the Right Person

The priest is key. Schedule a meeting (not just a passing comment after Mass):

“Father, I have celiac disease and need to discuss receiving Communion. Can we meet for a few minutes?”

In the meeting:

• Explain celiac disease (briefly)
• Explain your needs (specific options)
• Provide information if needed (Vatican documents, etc.)
• Ask what’s possible

Put It in Writing

If verbal requests are forgotten:

• Follow up with an email summarizing the conversation
• Provide written information about low-gluten hosts
• Create a paper trail

Be Specific

Don’t just say “I need help.” Say:

• “I would like to bring my own low-gluten host in a pyx. Here’s how the process could work…”
• “I need to receive from the chalice only. Can you ensure there’s always a cup available?”

Offer to Help

• “I can order the hosts myself if cost is a concern”
• “I can train the EMHCs on the procedure”
• “I can provide a written protocol”

Making it easy for them removes excuses.

If Good Faith Fails

If you’ve tried and nothing changes:

Document What Happened

Keep records of:

• Dates you made requests
• Who you spoke with
• What was promised
• What actually happened

This matters if you need to escalate.

Escalate Within the Parish

If the priest isn’t responsive:

• Parish council (if there is one)
• Deacon (if there is one)
• Pastoral associate

Some parishes have more bureaucracy, work through it.

Contact the Diocese

If the parish won’t help, the diocese may:

• Office for disability ministry
• Vicar for clergy
• Bishop’s office (as a last resort)

Be calm and factual. Describe what you’ve tried.

Consult Canon Law

Canon law establishes your right to receive the sacraments. If you’re being genuinely denied, this matters. A canon lawyer or diocesan official can advise.

The Emotional Reality

Being ignored by your parish is painful:

You Feel Invisible

The community that should welcome you doesn’t see your needs.

You Feel Unwelcome

Mass becomes a source of anxiety instead of peace.

You Feel Angry

At the priest, at the system, maybe at God for making this so hard.

These Feelings Are Valid

Being hurt by your faith community hurts. Name it. Feel it. Bring it to prayer.

Spiritual Options While You Advocate

Spiritual Communion

When you can’t receive sacramentally:

“Lord Jesus, I believe You are present in the Eucharist. I love You and desire You. Since I cannot receive You sacramentally at this moment, I ask You to come spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there. Never let me be separated from You.”

Spiritual communion is real communion. It’s not nothing.

Receive When You Can

Even if your home parish isn’t accommodating:

• Another parish might be
• Special occasions where arrangements are made
• Don’t go without receiving forever

Remember: You Are Welcome

Even if your parish fails you, you are welcome at Mass. You can attend, participate, and belong, even if communion is complicated.

When to Consider Leaving

Reasons to Stay

• You have community, history, other relationships there
• You believe change is possible with persistence
• You want to be part of the solution
• Leaving feels like giving up

Reasons to Go

• Persistent, willful refusal to accommodate
• The situation is harming your spiritual life
• Another parish would welcome you fully
• Your mental health requires it

It’s Okay to Leave

Finding a more welcoming parish isn’t failure. It’s wisdom. You deserve to worship without fighting for basic accommodation.

If You Find a Better Parish

What to Look for

• Priest who understands and cares
• Systems in place for dietary needs
• EMHC trained on low-gluten hosts
• Consistent chalice availability

Before You Commit

Visit a few times. Ask about their procedures. Make sure it’s truly welcoming.

The Relief of Being Welcomed

When you find a parish that actually accommodates, the difference is enormous. You can focus on prayer, not logistics. You can receive without anxiety.

This is how it should be.

A Prayer for Difficult Parishes

Lord, I came to Your table and found it blocked.

I asked for help and was met with indifference. I explained my needs and was forgotten.

I’m angry. I’m hurt. I don’t know what to do.

Give me wisdom, whether to keep trying, escalate, or leave. Give me patience with imperfect humans running imperfect parishes.

And don’t let their failure become my barrier to You. Meet me where I am, even when they don’t.

You see me. That has to be enough right now.

Amen.

You Belong

Whatever your parish does:

• You belong at Mass
• You have a right to the Eucharist (in a form you can receive)
• Your needs are legitimate
• Your place in the Church is secure

Keep advocating. Keep showing up. Keep seeking what you need.

The Church is bigger than any one parish. Find your place in it.